Vote for Jeanne!

Jimmy, in a continuous display of love that baffles me sometimes (Hi Gege), asked me if I knew my blood type. I had to call my pediatrician, Dr. Liu (who I would still see as my general practitioner if only I weren't old enough to be one of her nurses), to get this vital information (type O or O positive... I already forgot).

So guys, do you know your blood type? Do you absolutely know what medicines or foods cause an allergic reaction? Do you know what to do if you severed a body part or spilled acid on your skin (because this happens often at our desks in the office)? The point is, we are not taught the most essential information about safety, nor do we know some of the most vital and basic information about our own health.

My fear is that we will not need to know these things until it is too late. In high school, we learn about sexually transmitted diseases, but not what do in order to save someone's life. So you'd know "HEY, I have crabs!" but not how to perform the Heimlich when I'm choking on one of those excessively large neon orange Centrum multi-vitamin pills (true story-- the vitamin part).

When I am President of the United States of America, I will indoctrinate in all schools a requirement to teach basic life-saving skills to all students. Stranded on an island with no electricity? No problem! Almost drowned and in need of CPR? Piece of cake! Stuck in a sand trap in the Amazon? Crap I ran out of analogous phrases. And if Congress doesn't approve, you ask? I'll wait until they adjourn for the summer.

So, do I have your vote?!