Good As Gold
My friends, you are too funny. Please keep writing and leaving comments; it gives me something to giggle about quietly as I learn about calculating Return on Invested Capital. Which may not be a good thing, if people in my training class think that I am giggling at ROIC = NOPLAT/Invested Capital. Although, they probably giggled their way through getting their MBA... and the vastly higher salary they make as a result.
On another note, I have just acquired GOLD ELITE status with Northwest Airlines. This means:
1. Automatic upgrades to First Class if a seat is available
2. Access to the express security checkpoints at the airport
3. Automatic doubling of mileage every time I fly
4. Elite recognition when flying on the SkyTeam network
What this really means:
1. Automatic upgrades to First Class if a seat is available - When flying through LaGuardia, I've yet to receive an upgrade because First Class seats are always taken by Platinum status members. In order to become a member of this class, one must accumulate enough miles to what equates to weekly flights from New York to the Himalayas to the middle of the Kalahari to the bottom of the Atlantic. I anticipate becoming Platinum in a few weeks.
2. Access to the express security checkpoints at the airport - This is the best perk. Every Monday morning, I anticipate a 5 minute wait at security, while groggy morning travelers stand online (‘inline’ for you non-New Yorkers), bobbing up and down, slowing schlepping along, for 20 minutes. This is especially useful during Jewish holidays, when all the schmucks and schlemiels from Brooklyn and Bayside clog the lines and increase the wait time to a whopping 40 minutes.
3. Automatic doubling of mileage every time I fly - Currently in my mileage repository, I have banked 101,106 miles (53, 134 accumulated in 2005). Earth's circumference around the equator is 24,902 miles. Need I say more?
4. Elite recognition when flying on the SkyTeam network - At the airport, when I arrive, throngs of Chippendales dancers carry me on a golden throne, margarita in hand, into my private quarters on my personal jet, while the flight attendants fluff the Gucci bathrobe they have tailor made for me in preparation for my flight.
Traveling; it's not so bad.
On another note, I have just acquired GOLD ELITE status with Northwest Airlines. This means:
1. Automatic upgrades to First Class if a seat is available
2. Access to the express security checkpoints at the airport
3. Automatic doubling of mileage every time I fly
4. Elite recognition when flying on the SkyTeam network
What this really means:
1. Automatic upgrades to First Class if a seat is available - When flying through LaGuardia, I've yet to receive an upgrade because First Class seats are always taken by Platinum status members. In order to become a member of this class, one must accumulate enough miles to what equates to weekly flights from New York to the Himalayas to the middle of the Kalahari to the bottom of the Atlantic. I anticipate becoming Platinum in a few weeks.
2. Access to the express security checkpoints at the airport - This is the best perk. Every Monday morning, I anticipate a 5 minute wait at security, while groggy morning travelers stand online (‘inline’ for you non-New Yorkers), bobbing up and down, slowing schlepping along, for 20 minutes. This is especially useful during Jewish holidays, when all the schmucks and schlemiels from Brooklyn and Bayside clog the lines and increase the wait time to a whopping 40 minutes.
3. Automatic doubling of mileage every time I fly - Currently in my mileage repository, I have banked 101,106 miles (53, 134 accumulated in 2005). Earth's circumference around the equator is 24,902 miles. Need I say more?
4. Elite recognition when flying on the SkyTeam network - At the airport, when I arrive, throngs of Chippendales dancers carry me on a golden throne, margarita in hand, into my private quarters on my personal jet, while the flight attendants fluff the Gucci bathrobe they have tailor made for me in preparation for my flight.
Traveling; it's not so bad.
posted by Jeanne at 4:32 PM
<< Home