Porn in Public - Not OK.
While sitting in seat 4-A on my flight to Minneapolis this afternoon (that's FIRST CLASS, biotch. Refer to previous post about GOLD STATUS), a very plump and dressed-to-go-a-huntin' young man sat down next to me. He had a slight speech impediment, which I first took to be a mental handicap.
The young man, Mark I think is his name, 'Blessed-me' when I sneezed, said "Excuse me, Miss?" to call for the flight attendant, and offered me some Bite-Size Butterfinger Balls (did I mention he was plump?) before he had any. I thought, "Golly, what a nice, young man." Yes, so what if I think the word "Golly" to myself when it's appropriate? As I proceeded to dabble in my work and read a few magazines (Shape and The Economist, because I know you were dying to know), he decided to do the same. So, Mark, sitting in seat 4-B, unwraps from a clear plastic bag a brand new shiny magazine. STOP.
That line is a dead giveaway. Hello- what kind of magazine comes in a plastic bag? Not The Economist! Not Road & Track! Not Vogue! Oh, but Sweet Tits does! Or was it, Cheeks & ASS? I couldn't really read the title because I was so distracted by the GIGANTIC NIPPLES on the cover. DID YOU GET THE MEMO THAT IT'S OK TO READ A PORN MAGAZINE IN PUBLIC!? I might have, but must of deleted it along with the slew of memos I got. Like the one about it being ok to fart in someone else's personal space. Or to sneeze without saying excuse me. Or to vomit on your neighbor's lasagna.
It's as ludicrous as whipping out your laptop (LAPTOP) and watching something from the Spice Channel, and without headphones! He continued to finger (ew) through the pages, like it was the Sunday Times, until a nice piping hot plate of lasagna was set in front of him for dinner.
--
On a completely different and unrelated topic and so sorry to include it in this same post:
ANJUM, CONGRATULATIONS. I AM VERY EXCITED FOR YOU ON (am I allowed to say what?)! AREN'T WE ALL, PEOPLE?
The young man, Mark I think is his name, 'Blessed-me' when I sneezed, said "Excuse me, Miss?" to call for the flight attendant, and offered me some Bite-Size Butterfinger Balls (did I mention he was plump?) before he had any. I thought, "Golly, what a nice, young man." Yes, so what if I think the word "Golly" to myself when it's appropriate? As I proceeded to dabble in my work and read a few magazines (Shape and The Economist, because I know you were dying to know), he decided to do the same. So, Mark, sitting in seat 4-B, unwraps from a clear plastic bag a brand new shiny magazine. STOP.
That line is a dead giveaway. Hello- what kind of magazine comes in a plastic bag? Not The Economist! Not Road & Track! Not Vogue! Oh, but Sweet Tits does! Or was it, Cheeks & ASS? I couldn't really read the title because I was so distracted by the GIGANTIC NIPPLES on the cover. DID YOU GET THE MEMO THAT IT'S OK TO READ A PORN MAGAZINE IN PUBLIC!? I might have, but must of deleted it along with the slew of memos I got. Like the one about it being ok to fart in someone else's personal space. Or to sneeze without saying excuse me. Or to vomit on your neighbor's lasagna.
It's as ludicrous as whipping out your laptop (LAPTOP) and watching something from the Spice Channel, and without headphones! He continued to finger (ew) through the pages, like it was the Sunday Times, until a nice piping hot plate of lasagna was set in front of him for dinner.
--
On a completely different and unrelated topic and so sorry to include it in this same post:
ANJUM, CONGRATULATIONS. I AM VERY EXCITED FOR YOU ON (am I allowed to say what?)! AREN'T WE ALL, PEOPLE?
posted by Jeanne at 11:17 PM
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