My Favorite: Pet Peeve
Pet Peeves come in two forms, those that are:
1. Behavioral or controllable, and anyone who does it should be abolished from societal contact
2. Natural or uncontrollable, and anyone who does it should be abolished* from societal contact
*Exceptions can be made if the action is truly involuntary
Of the natural/uncontrollable/involuntary type that drives me up the wall, my 'favorite pet peeve' is Dry-Mouth Syndrome... Oh, you know what I'm talking about.
Caused by the slight sticking of the gums in the back of one's mouth, or the overly-wide tongue that hits one's teeth, it is an unbearable audible smacking noise that accompanies almost every word spoken. I'm not referring to the full out lithp that so adoringly supplements a stereotypical gay male's coming out of the closet ("I hate life. Oh my God, I'm gay. I'm gaaay!! Ith's thoo thuper!"). I am referring to the grating, disgusting, pervasive often faint but incredibly maddening sound, with every word and smack, that builds in my ears a fortress of agony. It grows from a faint byproduct of a sound to a deafening echo, the longer I am in the presence of someone with dry-mouth syndrome. There is a female correspondent on NPR, I don't know which, who exhibits The Syndrome. Every time I hear her, I question if there is an NPR-God punishing me for my wrong doings (listening to Hot 97 every now and then might of put him/her over the edge). What sane-minded person would let that woman speak on the air? What person would let her speak at all?? I often continue listening though, just to see how much I can bear.
Don't worry- none of you have it. But if I have offended anyone through this post, please refer to text above in bold.
1. Behavioral or controllable, and anyone who does it should be abolished from societal contact
2. Natural or uncontrollable, and anyone who does it should be abolished* from societal contact
*Exceptions can be made if the action is truly involuntary
Of the natural/uncontrollable/involuntary type that drives me up the wall, my 'favorite pet peeve' is Dry-Mouth Syndrome... Oh, you know what I'm talking about.
Caused by the slight sticking of the gums in the back of one's mouth, or the overly-wide tongue that hits one's teeth, it is an unbearable audible smacking noise that accompanies almost every word spoken. I'm not referring to the full out lithp that so adoringly supplements a stereotypical gay male's coming out of the closet ("I hate life. Oh my God, I'm gay. I'm gaaay!! Ith's thoo thuper!"). I am referring to the grating, disgusting, pervasive often faint but incredibly maddening sound, with every word and smack, that builds in my ears a fortress of agony. It grows from a faint byproduct of a sound to a deafening echo, the longer I am in the presence of someone with dry-mouth syndrome. There is a female correspondent on NPR, I don't know which, who exhibits The Syndrome. Every time I hear her, I question if there is an NPR-God punishing me for my wrong doings (listening to Hot 97 every now and then might of put him/her over the edge). What sane-minded person would let that woman speak on the air? What person would let her speak at all?? I often continue listening though, just to see how much I can bear.Don't worry- none of you have it. But if I have offended anyone through this post, please refer to text above in bold.
posted by Jeanne at 4:00 AM
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